Monday 25th of June of 2007. I remember perfectly how beautiful was that morning, clear blue sky and fresh air with the sweet Maui smells of plants.
I woke up around 6 with my wife and my kids. We had breakfast all together and played a while with Lucia and Mateo and then went to work. I drove peacefully down from my little town to the City of the island, listening to music and looking at the ocean as I always did every time I drove down. And I was thinking while driving that as soon as I got to work I had to call my doctor who was in charge of my endoscopy last week to know the results.
I was feeling optimistic about the results I was about to hear. I thought that I didn't have anything bad but at the same I had to be prepared to hear that I could have something serious.
I kept driving and started to pray. I believed in Jesus for a long time and I prayed to him that morning while I was driving thanking him for my wife, for my children and asking him to protect them and to keep them in good health. And thanking him for this and then I asked him to have good results from my endoscopy and to take it good without getting desperate in case if I had to listen to something bad.
I arrived to work and later I called the clinic and they asked if I could go there as fast as I could because the doctor wanted to see me.
When I got there they made me go right away into this room and the doctor showed up pretty soon and made me sit and she sat in front of me and without waisting any time she gave me the bad news that I had cancer in the stomach and the esophagus.
In the next seconds I felt very confused. I looked at her and asked her if it was true and how could it be that I got this cancer being young and she said that it was a rare case, that normally older people get it. Right after she said this my kids and my wife came to my mind and I started crying and took from one of my pockets my wallet. I opened it and showed the doctor the pictures of my kids, Lucia and Mateo and a picture of my wife Marcia and asked her how I was going to tell this to my wife, that I was going to brake her heart. I few minutes went by and I got stronger, I dried my tears and asked the doctor what was next, what I have to do to cure this and she explained to me the steps to follow. First of all I had to see an oncologist soon. Then I asked her what were the chances to cure this cancer and she said that they were very low. She told me she had to make a phone call and left me alone in the room and I started to cry. At the same time I prayed and asked God how I was going to tell my wife this. To please help me to go along the best way with all this with my family, that I was not mad with him for having this, that it was not fair to be upset with you after all the blessings I got already in my life and asked him to at least please give me the possibility to raise my kids with my wife, to please don't let me go. I felt a good relief after praying.
The doctor came back to the room and she told me they just called the only oncologist in the island. He was going to call to my house anytime to get us an appointment. When she told me this I got desperate, I didn't want anyone else but me to tell my wife first what were the results. I didn't like at all this negligence of my gastroenterologist. I asked her to let me make a phone call to my wife now. She let me call her from her office. You can imagine it wasn't easy at all to tell my wife this bad news. I told my wife I was going home once I left the clinic.
When I left the entrance door of the clinic I rose my sight to the sky, the sun felt warm in my face, it was a beautiful day, no clouds, an ocean breeze and I started to thank God for that day, for being alive, for my family and I didn't stop thanking him until I got to my car. I got in, started driving and kept thanking him and I drove home thanking him for a lot of things, but mainly for being alive and for my family. Before getting home I started thinking what I was going to tell my wife. I was going to try to bite my tears y show her that everything was fine but I didn't know what I was going to tell her as soon as I saw her.
I arrived home and my wife was waiting for me in the yard with my son in her arms. Lucia was inside playing with my brother. My wife had called my brother right after I spoke with her and he came right over.
I got out of my car and walked towards the gate of my yard looking at my wife. She was so sad, and when I got closer to her these words just came out from inside of me " this is nothing compared to what Jesus suffered on the cross for us". I hugged her and we didn't say anything, we just stayed in our embrace with Mateo in between us, both of us crying.
I then went inside the house and there was Lucia playing with my brother. And for her it was like any other day, happy that I was there. I started playing with her on the floor and I said to by brother " Can you believe this?" I think that my brother was in shock and couldn't realize what was happening. It was the kind of news that was so hard to accept especially for someone from my family.
Two weeks later we left our home in Maui headed for California, where I decided to get treated at a hospital that dedicates itself exclusively to the treatment of all types of cancer, The City of HOPE. Our new life was about to begin.
The next day after I arrived, I had an endoscopic ultrasound to begin staging my cancer. This test was very important and if I had stayed in Hawaii, there was only 1 clinic on Oahu offering this test and the wait was very long. After a PET scan, CAT scan and endoscopy my cancer was staged at stage 4, metastasis. It was already advanced with metastasis to the liver and lungs. I needed to start treatment as soon as possible. The doctors told me that the possibility to cure this was 1%.I believe they said this so they didn't have to tell me that it was incurable.
From the beginning I decided to use both conventional medicine and holistic medicine and very soon after all the cancer started to shrink.I never lost my faith that was my main strength. I always believed that there was a possibility to cure. I transformed that 1% chance of survival to 100% from the first day and I never doubted. I had faith and still have faith that God can give me this opportunity that I asked him to continue raising my children with my wife Marcia and I believe he is giving this to me.
In December of last year many people from my church here in California were fasting and praying for me. Each day of the month was covered in prayer by faithful friends, some that didn't even know me personally. On the evening of December 14th I experienced something that never happened to me in my life. While I was sleeping I felt a presence of something and felt two hand touching me. They were wrapping my body, coming from underneath, very softly. I slowly woke up, and realized what was happening. It happened around 12 midnight. When I felt the hand move away, I was given a kiss on my left ear and was told something like " it is finished." With my faith, I believe God sent me and angel that night to finish curing me. Seven days later I had my scans again that showed the tumor in the esophagus was gone. It did not appear in the scan. All of the lymph nodes that previously showed cancer came back clear with no evidence of cancer.The spot in my liver also disappeared and there was only 3 very small spots in my lungs that had shrunk a lot since the last scan and one was completely gone. The end of February I had scans again and the 3 spots left in my lungs were gone and there was not evidence of cancer in my body. Three weeks ago I had scans once more and there was still no sign of cancer in my body.
Since I was diagnosed with this cancer, my wife and I have grown so much closer in our relationship with God. Our faith in Jesus grew and grew as the cancer shrunk. Never before have we thanked God SO much for our lives. We are so full of thanks for all the blessing that he has given to us during this experience. Without Jesus, my wife and I would not have been able to go through this trial with so much peace, hope and love. Thanks be to him, his mercies endure forever. And to everyone who has helped us throughout this experience, we THANK YOU from our hearts.
As of now, I have to continue with chemotherapy in a pill form. I have not had an infusion since January 17th. Everyday I take the chemo pills, the same ones that I have been on since the beginning. So instead of three drugs, I am only on one and this is considered preventative for now. Every 3 months I will have the scans to see how I am doing. Thanks for reading and thanks for all of your support!!!
Federico
SPANISH
Lunes 25 de Junio del 2007. Me acuerdo perfectamente lo hermosisima que estaba esa maniana, el cielo despejado y el aire fresco con aroma a plantas. Me desperte a eso de las 6 de la maniana con mi esposa y mis hijos. Desayunamos todos juntos, jugue un rato con Lucia y Mateo y luego me despedi para ir a trabajar. Maneje tranquilo bajando desde mi pueblo hacia la ciudad de la isla, escuchando musica y mirando el mar como lo solia hacer siempre y pensaba que a penas llegara al trabajo tenia que llamar a la doctora que habia estado a cargo de la endoscopia el viernes pasado. Estaba muy optimista acerca de los resultados que me iban a dar, pensaba que no tenia nada malo pero me acuerdo muy bien que a la vez pense de estar preparado a escuchar que podia tener algo serio. Seguia manejando y me puse a rezar. Yo creo en Jesucristo desde hace ya mucho tiempo y a El le rece esa maniana mientras manejaba diciendole primero lo que le decia todas las manianas y lo sigo haciendo, agradeciendole por mi esposa y mis hijos, y pidiendole que me los proteja y que les de buena salud y despues le pedi de no fuera nada malo cuando me dieran los resultados de la endoscopia, pero que si llegara a ser algo malo que me ayudara a tomarlo bien y no desesperarme.
Llegue al trabajo y al rato hice el llamado a la clinica y me dicen que fuera ahora mismo que la doctora me queria ver. Cuando llego me hacen pasar de inmediato a un cuarto y enseguida se presento la doctora, me hizo sentar, ella se sento en frente mio y asi sin perder tiempo me dio la mala noticia de que tenia cancer de esofago y estomago justo en la union del esofago con el estomago y me dice que lo sentia muchisimo. En los segundos siguientes me senti confundidisimo, la miraba y le preguntaba que si era cierto, que como podia ser que yo me hubiese agarrado cancer, y me dice que es un caso rarisimo, que yo era muy joven para agarrarme este tipo de cancer, que normalmente se da en gente mayor. Y ahi nomas me paso por la cabeza mis hijos y mi esposa y me puse a llorar y saque mi billetera del bolsillo, la abri y le mostre a la doctora las fotos de mis hijos y de mi esposa y le decia como le iba a decir esto a mi esposa, que le iba a romper el corazon. Pasaron un par de minutos mas, me puse fuerte, me seque las lagrimas y le pregunte que tenia que hacer a partir de ahora, que tenia que hacer para curarlo y me explico brevemente los pasos a seguir, lo primero de todo, tenia que ver urgente a un oncologo y le pregunte si se podia curar este cancer y me dijo que que las posibilidades de curar este cancer eran muy bajas. Me dijo que volvia enseguida a la habitacion y me quede solo por unos minutos y me largue a llorar y al mismo tiempo le rece a Dios y le pregunte como le iba a decir esto a mi esposa, que por favor me ayudara a llevar todo esto de la mejor manera con mi familia, que yo no estaba enojado con El por esto, que era injusto enojarme con El despues de todas las bendiciones que me habia dado en mi vida, y le pedi que por favor me ayudara y me diera al menos la posibilidad de poder criar a mis hijos junto con mi esposa.
La doctora volvio al cuarto y me dice que ya habia pedido turno con el oncologo y que iban a llamar a mi casa y ahi le pregunto que si iban a llamar ahora y me dice que si y me desespere cuando me dijo eso porque yo no queria que otra persona le dijera a mi esposa lo que tenia antes de que yo se lo dijera, no me gusto para nada esta negligencia de la doctora y le pedi un telefono que tenia que llamar a mi esposa ya. La doctora me hizo pasar a su oficina y llame a mi casa y se imaginaran que no fue nada facil tener que darle esta noticia a mi esposa y le dije que ya iba para casa. Ni bien sali de la Clinica alce mi mirada al cielo, el sol estaba radiante, era un dia hermosisimo, y le empece a agrader a Dios por ese dia, por estar vivo, por mi familia y no pare de decirle gracias hasta que llegue a mi coche, me subi y segui diciendole gracias, parecia un disco rallado, no paraba de decir gracias y asi maneje hasta mi casa sin parar de agradecerle por muchas cosas, pero principalmente por estar vivo y por mi familia. Ya cuando estaba por llegar a mi casa empece a pensar como iba a ser el encuentro con mi esposa, iba a hacer lo imposible por morderme las lagrimas y demostrarle que estaba todo bien pero no sabia que le iba a decir ni bien la viera. Llegue y ahi estaba esperandome en el jardin con mi hijo Mateo en sus brazos y Lucia estaba adentro jugando con mi hermano Mariano que mi esposa lo habia llamado despues de hablar conmigo en el telefono y se fue enseguida para mi casa. Baje de mi coche, camine hacia la puerta de mi jardin mirandola a mi esposa, ella estaba triste y cuando me acerque a ella me salio de adentro "esto no es nada al lado de lo que sufrio Jesus por nosotros en la cruz". La abrace y no nos dijimos nada mas, solo nos quedamos abrazados con Mateo entre los dos y los dos llorabamos. Despues me fui adentro de la casa y ahi estaba Lucia jugando con mi hermano y ella estaba como cualquier otro dia, contenta que estaba ahi y me puse a jugar con ella y mi hermano, y le dije a mi hermano "podes creer esto ?" Creo que mi hermano no cayo en ese dia de lo que realmente pasaba, era una noticia que costaba asimilar, especialmente para alguien de mi familia.
En dos semanas nos estabamos llendo de la isla mi esposa, mis hijos y yo rumbo a California donde iba a ser tratado en un Hospital dedicado exclusivamente a todo tipo de cancer, City of Hope. Una nueva vida comenzaba.
En este Hospital me detectaron bien en que grado estaba mi cancer. Era del grado mas alto, 4 con metastasis. Ya estaba muy avanzado y por eso habia que empezar lo antes posible con quimioterapia. La posibilidad de curarlo eran de 1 por ciento me dijeron los medicos (para no decirme 0 ).
Mi tratamiento desde el comienzo lo hice con medicina alternativa y medicina convencional y muy pronto se empezo a achicar todo el cancer.
Nunca perdi la fe que fue mi fuerza principal y siempre pense en que tenia una oportunidad de curarme, ese 1 por ciento lo transforme desde el primer dia en 100 por ciento y nunca dude. Tenia fe y la sigo teniendo de que Dios me podia dar esa oportunidad que le pedi de poder criar a mis hijos con mi esposa Marcia y creo que me la esta dando.
En Diciembre del anio pasado muchas personas de mi Iglesia aca en California estuvieron ayunando por mi. El 14 de Diciembre mientras dormia experimente algo que nunca me habia pasado antes en mi vida, fui tocado por dos manos mientras dormia boca arriba. Me entraban por debajo de mi espalda muy suavemente, de apoco me fui despertando y empece a darme cuenta de lo que estaba pasando. Paso alrededor de las 12 de la noche. Las manos las senti con los dos brazos y eran grandes. Cuando se retiraron las manos recibi un beso en mi oreja izquierda y me dijo algo como que ya esta. Con fe creo que Dios me mando un angel esa noche para terminar de curarme. Siete dias despues me hicieron los estudios que revelaron que el tumor en el esofago y estomago habia desaparecido, todo los ganglios linfaticos que tenia tomados volvieron a la normalidad, lo que tenia en el higado desaparecio y solo quedaban 3 nodulos en un pulmon que se habian achicado muchisimo y uno habia desaparecido. A fines de Febrero me volvieron a hacer los estudios y los nodulos en el pulmon habian desaparecido y el resultado fue que no habia evidencia de cancer y hace unas 3 semanas atras me volvieron a hacer los estudios nuevamente y el resultado fue otra vez que no hay evidencia de cancer.
Desde que fui diagnosticado con este cancer mi esposa y yo nos hemos acercado muchisimo mas a Dios, nuestra fe en Jesucristo crecio mucho mas. Nunca antes le agradeci a Dios tanto por la vida y por tantas bendiciones que me ha dado durante esta nueva experiencia de mi vida. Sin El mi esposa y yo no hubiesemos sido capaces de llevar toda esto con tanta paz, tanta esperanza, con tanto amor. Gracias Dios.
Y a todos los que nos han ayudado y a los que estan ahi siempre dandome aliento, a todos los abrazo juntos y les digo gracias !
Y como sigue esto ahora, tengo que seguir haciendo quimioterapia pero mas leve, seria preventiva. Todos los dias estoy tomando pastillas de quimioterapia que son las mismas que vengo tomando desde el principio que junto a dos drogas mas formaban antes el "coctail" de mi quimioterapia. Y cada 3 meses me van a ir haciendo los estudios.
Hasta la proxima.
Fede
